Kontrol

KontrolSo AB962 was not my idea. I’ve tried to veto three similar bills since 2004. But Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my tent, chugging away happily on a stogie, and Kissinger walks in with these sad, puppy-dog eyes, and then he starts giving me some sob story about how him and his cocksucker buddies are scared that people are starting to get pissed off with them, and might start a revolution or something, so we have to start cutting off their access to bullets.

I told him it was a stupid idea. If someone wants to get their hands on some lead for their shiny piece badly enough, there’s nothing much I can do about it. And the black market will just grow to accomodate whatever we’re trying to stop.

But he’s a stubborn, old bastard. He told me if I didn’t sign it, he wouldn’t invite me to the booze-up at Bohemian Grove. And I didn’t want to miss out on the naked women dancing round the fire chanting to Moloch. Citizens of Kalifornia, I apologize for pissing on your already tattered constitution. My hands were tied.

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