State-Sponsored Teen Sex Parties

State-Sponsored Teen Sex PartiesSo my Mexican man-servant Manolo just finished reading me Brave New World by that mescaline freak Jeff Buckley. Or maybe it was Cliff Huxstable. I forget. But I gotta tell you, I love that book! It’s given me so many great ideas about new laws and policies that I’m gonna instigate when I’m elected President of the Universe in 2012 (try and stop me) to make the world a better place for our children to live in. The first of which is gonna be mandatory state-sponsored teen sex parties in every school, just like they have in the book!

I mean, think about it! We’re already teaching sex education to five-year-olds, so why not make it practical for them as well when they’re a few years older? And everybody knows that the best way to learn something is to just jump in and do it. This way, we’re gonna have happy, healthy teens in all our schools. Their confidence will grow, their concentration will improve, they’ll be so much more chilled out, and I personally guarantee that attendance in every school will be close to one hundred percent. It’s gonna be fantastic!

And let me tell you something. Do you remember that nasty business a few years ago when those kids who were packing walked into their school and shot the whole place up like they were in one of my movies before blowing themselves away? Actually, it seems to happen every year, don’t you think? Do you honestly think that any of this shit would happen if all these angry, lonely, pissed off kids just get laid a few times, or smoke a couple of joints? I smoked a couple of joints when I was younger, and now I’m the fucking Governor of California. Go figure, dumbasses.

The State continues to fail our children, but I swear an oath to CROM himself, that when I am President of the Universe, we will fail our children no more!! So help me CROM!!! EEEEYYYYAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHTM!!!!

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One Response to “State-Sponsored Teen Sex Parties”

  1. michael albitz Says:

    lmao “Brave New World by that mescaline freak Jeff Buckley. Or maybe it was Cliff Huxstable. I forget.” awesome.

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