Girlie Man

Girlie Man

So my good buddy Chuck Norris was in town the other day and he decided to go to Wendy’s and order a BaconatorTM. The secret ingredient is CROM’s fury, and Chuck couldn’t finish it. EEYYAARRGGHHTM!! He was really pissed off and was working himself up to unleash a roundhouse kick so powerful that the sonic boom which followed would have made six thousand one hundred and ninety four species of plants and animals extinct. But I called him up just in time and told him that classic one-liner from my super-smash-hit box office movie Total Recall: ‘Relax. You’ll live longerTM.’ So he felt better after that and then he went to McDonald’s and ate seven hundred Big Macs in twelve minutes and twenty seconds. What a girlie man. Maybe I’ll appoint him Secretary of Defense when I’m elected President of the Universe in 2012 (it’s a done deal).


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