You People

SeriouslySo right now I’m smoking a fat Cohiba Behike. Only four thousand of them were ever made, rolled by four thousand super-hot naked virgins on the thighs of four thousand super-hot naked virgins. Kissinger’s still pissed off at me for last night, calling me a commie bastard and threatening to shove his Nobel Peace Prize up my ass.

I love this country. You people make it too easy for me and mine to do what we do and get away with it. We’ve taken away your gold. We’ve taken away your land. We’ve taken away your rights. Your money is worthless, and we’re drowning you in debt. And you just sit there and accept it. It’s amazing.

I explained it my good buddy Barack a while back, before he became President. I told him that if you’re smooth enough, if your sound-bites are so meaningless they can mean anything, if the lights are so bright that they can’t see you coming, if the music is so loud that people can’t hear themselves think, you can fuck them in the ass and they’ll turn around and thank you for it.

I look around and I see grown men and women pissing and pooping in their psychological nappies, playing at being adults, waiting for something to happen. All I have to say is this: something’s going to happen sooner than you think.


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